First conquer yourself, then your locality before you attempt to affect the world ( 1 Tim 4 )
(Under Sub-Theme; Attributes You Should Crave For)
The Need for Respect In Leadership
Let me explain Respect for you.
It is cooperation, when a person agrees to work with you.
It is valuing what your value. When you respect age, she does too. You have regard for good education same with her. If doesn't value what you value, she may use what you value for something useless and make you angry.
It is agreement. When a person disagree with you too much most times its because they don't respect you. If they think the plate is not worth eating from, they won't value the meal from it.
Dictionary definition
respect
a feeling of deep admiration for someone or something elicited by their abilities, qualities, or achievements.
The Need for Respect
The need for respect is ingrained into the fabric of the human DNA. We crave for it. We are wired to to need it. The creator has his reason for wiring us this way.
Respect transcends our feelings and works wonders in every venture.
Where respect exists there is peace, focus and collaboration. It doesn't mean there would not be competition but the objective is given the chance to be worked on. Thus we are given the chance to do what we want most.
In relationships like marriage, when there is no respect the couple kick against each other while they leave the most important things to rot. The wife may decide to be careless. Insults abound. Finally the marriage after going through a lot is sent to the grave yard.
That is why all relationships that lack respect if not corrected dies.
In a company where there is disrespect, sabotage is rampant because one person will like to see the other fall. Bullying and making one feel worthless is the norm. But once the subordinate or boss finds himself in this position, either he quits or revenge. You know the cost of revenge, everyone loses.
Two people cannot work together where there's is disrespect, in the final analysis, the cooperation will break down after many casualties.
Persons involved
People who disrespect usually are annoyed because they see something - character flaw - they don't like. The flaw may manifest in opinion sharing or bad treatment or something.
But my own candid opinion tells me that we have to let people be. They might have change of heart tomorrow or grow worse. You the person trying to change the other may end up believing the same thing, life experiences and observations have a way of revealing truths that we couldn't perceive before.
But certain people try to even control people to the thought level. They will fight you because of your opinion when it doesn't even affect them. These are dangerous people worse than manipulators, they try to play God. When you try to create experiences for someone to change his opinion and you go to the extreme you are playing God, your venture won't work because you are not God but what you can end up doing is destroy the person. And so certain parents will abuse their kids with extreme whips destroying the child's confidence and putting fear in him.
People disrespect has a way of embarrassing their friends or saying bad things about them in front of people; character assassination.
These people also grow worse as time goes on. I have seen that they more than they did previously. The married woman who commits adultery continues till she ends up leaving her husband. The friend who tells you that you are not handsome ends up telling you that you are hopeless.
What I have seen is that if a person disrespects and get away with it they continue until finally they want to ruin you to suit their negative perception they hold.
Don't let disrespect get to the adult stages; either the person must change or break relationship.
Attitude
We are the cause of our disrespect from people. No matter the disadvantages you have you can command some respect.
For instance, been smallish like I am most people try to have a low opinion of me. However, my actions towards the person would correct that notion.
How can we have respect from people
Remember I said that if they don't respect you they won't cooperate with you. It means they will do something else when you have to work together. They might try to destroy yours.
Respect is earned, it means you have to intentionally work for it. You have to also learn how to maintain it to be a good leader.
One of the ways by which we can get respect is by showing our value. Once they see it they will change. What are your gifts?
Leaders must keep a respectable distance. This is not just in location but in chatting and anything that brings people too close.
I said 'respectable distance' because when a person crosses that distance they can't respect you again no matter how they mask it.
You must keep certain things to yourself; don't say everything.
Don't go revealing your embarrassing moments. Keep your dairies or stop using them. All these break the respectable distance. Believe me, if a person can disrespect you and get away with it, they would.
Deny them certain activities that engenders disrespect from them. For some people, when you take loan from them they loss respect for you even when you pay them back. With other people when you eat their food or visit them too much.
Loose behaviour can earn us disrespect. A lady who gives herself away easily shouldn't expect respect from anybody.
Respect your culture. In our culture there are certain things when we practice can earn us disrespect.
to be continued
